Better Holiday Connections

It was the day before Thanksgiving and my wife was at the grocery store picking up some items she needed for the side dishes she would be bringing to the feast at a relative’s house, when she received a phone call. “Hey, we just tested positive for Covid. You’ll have to host Thanksgiving at your house.”

Unexpected transitions or disruptions can be a challenge. The past two months we have been talking about the internal talents and how they adapt to or resist change. Just in time for the holidays we are going to look at how the Connect talents are impacted by change and how these challenges can come out in our relationships.

For Communication, whatever the change is and what others are saying, feeling, or doing in response, they will be talking about it! This talent can go into verbal broadcast mode to give those around them the scoop on how the new circumstances are rolling out. The bigger the change, the more there is to talk about so this talent can get lit and overload others if not monitored.

People with Empathy who connect with others on a deeper emotional or heart level are often feeling the fears and anxiety of others that transitions bring. They are less about the facts and more about how this impacts the mental, emotional, and physical well-being of others. It is not uncommon for this talent to quietly tap out of intense group interaction.

Harmony, like Empathy, is a talent with more of an emotional component that strives for relational equilibrium. Because the nature of shifting altercations and events brings imbalance and uncertainty they can focus on the tension and how to bring others from conflict and confusion to grace and goodwill. Like Empathy, they may get overloaded and just shut down and peace out.

The Includer is concerned about who is being left out or unheard in a transition. They pick up on the exclusionary dynamics of change and try to make sure no one is overlooked. Individualization seeks to uphold the integrity of individuals’ uniqueness and can get ruffled if change involves assimilating everyone into the machine. Both talents’ relational connections pick up on those being isolated, overlooked, or expected to conform and will speak to that.

Relator and Responsibility also have concerns about change, but it is more about how it can affect their inner scope. Since Relators typically have a tight inner circle of those they trust and care for, they usually filter change through how it impacts those closest to them personally and professionally. Responsibility, on the other hand, has built relational depth by their reliability in honoring their commitments and promises to others. How will the new norms and expectations enhance or complicate those previous commitments and possibly their future reputation?

For more on Connect and change in the workplace click here for the video. As we work our way through the next five weeks of family gatherings and company parties we can practice connecting what people are saying with the Connect talent(s) they may be exercising. In so doing it can shape a better response in our conversations and keep us from falling into one of The 3 Major Fault Lines.